


Found Anew

by ClarumSomnium



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, Healing, Healing Sex, Masturbation, Other, Past Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:14:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27788800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarumSomnium/pseuds/ClarumSomnium
Summary: During a solitary night, Edelgard explores her body, finding a way to reclaim it for herself and heal from past trauma.Written for FE3H Wanksgiving. Prompt: Fear / DiscoveryCW note: mention of pre-TS Edelgard discovering masturbation, fantasizing about her teacher.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 9
Kudos: 62





	Found Anew

Edelgard slid under the covers of her huge royal bed. Without Byleth, it seemed overwhelmingly empty and large. She peered at the side usually occupied by her wife and buried her face in her pillow. A faint smell of her beloved lingered on the fabric, offering a little comfort. It was the first night they were spending apart since their wedding, and Edelgard dreaded being left to her thoughts. Especially those that were near impossible to escape in their shared bed.

They had been married for nearly three months, and yet, their union remained unconsummated. Not for the lack of trying. Since their wedding night they’d made several attempts to become intimate, but each ended with Edelgard admitting defeat. Byleth’s touch, no matter how gentle and loving, inevitably tossed her into a cold whirlwind of memories, inspiring a sense of disgust and fear she was unable to overcome. Even when she remained mostly dressed, her body refused to open up to her wife, and she was unable to relax until they agreed to stop trying.

Dejected, she flopped onto her back and sighed, absently staring at the ornate ceiling of the four-poster. She used to do the same at Garreg Mach, allowing her mind to wander. It was only after she developed a crush on the new, attractive teacher, that she started daydreaming. When Byleth kissed her in her fantasies, she felt happy and whole. Her body ignited under the professor’s caress, welcoming her daring touches. Those thoughts, inappropriate as they were, kept the nightmares at bay, bringing about a different kind of excitement. For the first time, Edelgard began exploring herself in pursuit of pleasure.

Spurred by the recollection, she kicked off the sheets and pulled up her white nightgown. Her legs were striped with battle scars from the war, but she did not mind them. It was the scars on her abdomen and chest that brought about the horrors from her past. Sliding her hand under the soft fabric, she felt them with the tips of her fingers, their edges all too familiar. She didn’t recall acquiring any of them in particular, but she remembered the burning pain of incisions that were often reopened before they could heal. 

She had never considered herself ugly because of those marks. If anything, they were a testimony to her perseverance, a reminder that pushed her towards fulfilling her goals. It was only when somebody else touched them that she relapsed, terrified of losing control. 

She pondered reclaiming the fantasies which had once brought her comfort but were now tainted with bitterness. Although Byleth had been nothing but understanding, imagining their intimacy evoked the hollow shame of being an inadequate spouse. But shame was not the only source of her frustration. She wanted pleasure, and fun and playfulness, and she knew she deserved them, too. 

Closing her eyes, she cupped her breasts and squeezed them. They were soft and full despite the firm muscles flexing underneath. She circled her nipples with her thumbs, feeling them harden from her caress. It wasn’t that her body was incapable of arousal. She simply didn’t know how to experience it with somebody else. 

Breathing slowly, Edelgard slid her fingers across her stomach’s smooth ridges. Where the scars ended, her skin was smooth and sensitive to touch. A gentle shiver ran through her body, making her white hairs stand on end. She was calm, and almost at ease. She hugged herself, languidly stroking her sides. It was a warm, reassuring embrace. 

She recalled the words of affirmation and praise her wife bestowed upon her and smiled, tilting her head back. She was clever. She was strong. She started a war and won it. The shackles of her past were rusting away and falling apart, and she knew it was only a matter of time until she broke them completely. 

She bent her knees and placed her feet flat on the mattress. A tuft of silver covered her mound. She buried her digits in the curly hair and tugged gently. It was oddly hypnotizing, stroking and twirling it like that. Byleth did that too, she realized, and was proud not to recoil from the thought.

She hesitated before pressing forward. Tension rose in her shoulders and the base of her neck ached from the resulting cramp. She was as anxious as she was starved, and the two drives warred inside her head. How was it possible that only a few years before she could writhe on her bed in joyful abandon, biting down on a tissue to muffle the noise? She trembled. Perhaps past Edelgard never believed her fantasies could come true. 

Taking a deep breath, she slid her finger between her lower lips, parting them unhurriedly. She stroked the folds, recognizing their shapes. They were slick and warm and she massaged them between her digits, teasing herself. The anticipated pang of terror never came, and she relaxed into the mattress, gaining confidence in her pursuit. 

She circled her sweet spot, eliciting the gentlest of sparks. Still safe, she did it again, and again, until the gentle jolts became a steady rhythm causing her heart to beat a little faster. It wasn’t quite the pleasure she used to know, but she reveled in it, clinging to the hope it gave her. Little by little, she rediscovered herself, finding the familiar patterns that brought her closer to the edge. No fantasy needed, she was ready to love herself. 

The bed creaked when she rocked her hips, seeking more of her own touch. She drew quick, shallow breaths in between timid moans. It was blissful and free, and entirely her own. Nearing the edge, she pulled back, allowing the yearning and need to grow until she could resist it no more. 

The first climactic spasm shot through her and she let out a cry which was building up in her belly. Her legs closed reflexively as more tremors raked across her petite frame. She was floating. 

And floating.

And floating, for what felt like divine eternity.

The candle she had left burning had gone out, and when she opened her eyes, she was engulfed in darkness. She flexed her toes and felt a ticklish tingling between her legs. Blissed out, she rolled to the center of the bed and spread her limbs. Sleep would follow shortly, but she was not afraid of facing the night alone. She would drift, convinced that she was capable of healing, and that one day, she could be with her beloved the way she’d always wanted.


End file.
